This is a tale where I'll bring to my grave.


My paternal grandmother gave birth to 2 children, a daughter and a son on 1984 and 1987 respectively. Because of how close their age gaps are with me and my elder sister, we became childhood buddies.
With me being as young as 4 years old, my parents always frequent to Grandma's to have us occupied with each other. From sharing bolsters, to milk bottles and even toys, the 4 of us were inseparable. Being the youngest among the four, I am often the follower rather than the leader. I never complained, in fact, I have always minded my own business in Grandma's study room.

I was always fascinated by books at such a young age that it worried my Grandma thinking I was probably growing up to be an introvert. Honestly, I was just intrigued with words. I wasn't choosy on the topics either. Give me a story on farms, on sports or even on the Islamic history, I would just keep on reading.

So when Grandma finally told me to stay out of the study room one afternoon, I was utterly disappointed. I didn't know what to do given that my elder sister was having her afternoon nap. My uncle was at the age of 7 at that time and frankly, I see him more of a big brother than an uncle whereas my aunt was the eldest among us being about 6 years my senior. I've always looked up to my uncle probably because he was the closest brotherly figure I could get. And just like me, he too was full with curiosity. Only a different kind of interest.

It sounded provocative when he first spouted the question to me yet thinking back now, it was just an innocent inquiry.

"Do you know how to kiss? Do you want to try?"

Eyes widen with eagerness, I could never explained what geared inside me. Frankly, I've always wondered what was kissing all about and the whole gist of it. After all, I only managed to peek a few scenes here and there in between my tiny fingers from movies or dramas on the Television where an intimate scenes were played. Naturally, I've always wondered how my first kiss would be like. Would it be magical? Or would it not meant anything at all? So when he finally asked me if I want to try, without any hesitation, I nod my head in enthusiasm.

After that, the moments were a blur.

I couldn't recalled if it was him who led me to the study room or was it vice versa but all I could remembered, we were already siting face to face under the study table, with our arms wrapped around each other and lips locked for a brief minute.

It wasn't some french kissing nor was it some tongue action kiss but merely a peck on the lips that lasted for more than 30 seconds.

We pulled our lips at the same time, not knowing what to do next. I stared at him blankly, awaiting for his next suggestion.

"Wanna try again? This time sit on my lap and let's try for more than a minute."

So I did just that.




x Once Upon a Time x





Why do I love you?
Shouldn't you want me to?
do i need a reason
it is my gift to you
take and cherish it
for i don't fall too often.
 
let me fall in arms wide open
let me fall in your embrace
let me cup the cheeks of your face
let me fill the space in your palm
let me twiddle each finger, pinkie to thumb
let me feel your weight as u rest upon my chest
let me whisper to your ear, claiming to be best
let me kiss your lips, taste the heat of your breath
 
let me love you more
like no other has done before.


x Rant x